The Super Bowl from hell

superbowlliiAbout 14 years or so ago, God approached the world’s biggest Yankee and Giants fan with a proposition. In return for the Yankees becoming the first team in MLB history to blow a 3-0 lead and lose a playoff series in seven games (to the Red Sox no less), God would grant the Giants not one, but two, comeback Super Bowl victories against the Patriots. And to sweeten the pot, one of those Super Bowl wins would knock out an undefeated New England team.

It was an offer no fan could refuse.

Now, as we approach Super Bow LII, the picture is about as bleak as can be for New York fans. Oh woe, it’s come down to this. For a Giants fan, Eagles-Patriots is about as bad a Super Bowl matchup as you could possibly get. Only thing worse would be Cowboys-Patriots.

There are so many reasons to dislike both these teams. It would be a LII (lie) to say I wanted the Eagles or the Patriots to win Super Bowl LII. But come Sunday, one of those teams will emerge triumphant.

Reasons to hate the Eagles

1. They’re an NFC East rival, and play the Giants twice each year.

2. The Eagles have handed the Giants numerous bitter losses over the year, most notably the Chuck Bednarik game in 1960, the Herman Edwards game in 1978, and the LeSean Jackson game in 2010. Those losses and others still cut deep.

3. Philadelphia fans booed Santa Claus.

4. Those some Philadelphia fans cut the brake lining in my nephew’s van during a Giants game at Lincoln Financial Field several years ago. Seriously. Fortunately noboby was injured when the van crashed into a cyclone fence.

5. Philly can’t hold a candle to New York. First prize, a week’s vacation in Philadelphia. Second prize, two weeks vacation in Philly. Get it.

Reasons to hate the Patriots

1. They always win.

2. Most of their fans also root for the Boston Red Sox.

3. They cheat. Too many controversies, ie Spygate and Deflategate, make it appear more than simple coincidence.

4. The refs are on their side. I mean how many calls go New England’s way? There oughta be an investigation.

5. Boston can’t hold a candle to New York. The Big Apple vs. Beantown. Yeah right.

There’s only one saving grace in Super Bowl LII, and it leans towards the Pats. If the Patriots win, at least the Giants can claim the only Super Bowl victories against New England in the Brady-Belichick era. New England under B&B is presently 0-2 against the Giants in the Super Bowl, and 5-0 against the rest of the league.

Go Pats I guess. Good luck New England. Not really.