Material Guy a Bust in The Bronx

Material Guy (sung to the tune of Madonna’s Material Girl)

Some guys come through in the big spot
But that’s not my way
I get tight, I strike out
Or worse a double play

Fans can boo and they can plead
But they don’t see the light
Cause guys like me with cold hard cash
Are always mister right

….cause we are

Living in a material world
And I am a material guy
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material guy

Alex Rodriguez hears the boos on the road and at home.

Material Guy makes hundreds of millions of dollars, yet comes up bankrupt in the clutch. He hits tons of home runs, but is a lightweight under pressure. He plays games on and off the diamond, at home and on the road, with the Yankees and his wife and blonde strippers and even Madonna.

Material Guy is living in a material world. And he’s a loser. Alex Rodriguez has won three MVPs, but has never taken his team to the World Series.

Of course, he’s hardly the only reason the Yankees are fast-fading out of the playoff picture. Offensive incompetence, especially with runners in scoring position, anemic pitching and injuries have combined to put the Yanks on serious death watch.

But A-Rod is the lightning rod, the highest-salaried player in the game, and he’s paid to produce in the clutch. In that vein, he’s been a bust ever since coming to the Bronx. E-Rod, A-Wad, Double Play-Rod.

Just this week, in a crucial three-game series against the Red Sox, Material Guy was 2-for-13 with five strikeouts and grounded into a pair of rally-killing double plays as the Yankees lost two of three..

Lord of The Ringless
In fact, since Material Guy arrived in New York in 2004, the Yankees have failed to win the American League pennant. Before he came, they had been to the World Series six times in eight seasons, winning four championships.

When the Material Guy left the Seattle Mariners and the Texas Rangers, both times for more money, his former teams immediately improved….dramatically

In 2001, Seattle set the all-time American League record with 116 wins, 25 more than the previous year with A-Rod. Texas immediately improved from 71 wins to 89 without A-Rod.

Amazingly, Material Guy went 15 full playoff games and parts of two others without a single RBI before hitting a meaningless home run late in the Yankees fourth and final game loss to the Indians last year. During that stretch he was 7-for-57 for a .123 batting average. Guys swinging with their eyes closed can manage 7-for-57.

Playoff Failures
His playoff failures have defined his career in pinstripes. A weak tapper and run-in with Boston’s Bronson Arroyo in 2004. A double play grounder in the ninth inning of Game 5 against the Angels in 2005 in a 5-3 loss.

In fact, Material Guy became such a head case under pressure that Joe Torre dropped him to eighth in the batting order two years ago in the final game loss to the Tigers. A-Rod went 0-for-3 and made a costly error as Detroit sent the Yankees packing in 2006.

In the most critical moment in last year’s playoffs, A-Rod struck out in the ninth inning of a 1-1 tie with the go-ahead run in scoring position; Cleveland went on to win, 2-1, in 11 innings en route to a series victory in four games.

Put it this way Yankee fans, game on the line, who would you rather have up there, Material Guy or Scott Brosius?

Pretty much says it all.

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